So, Why DOES Fred Durst Suck?
Yeah, I have devoted some space on here to this issue before, but it's usually relating to specific bit of "Durstdom" (or "Durstosterone," if you will) With the release of their new CD (I have NO fucking clue what the name is, nor do I care... all I saw was his fat-assed face on some puke-green cover with the word LimpBizkit, and I was onto looking for other stuff), I figured I would get a little more general about why, in fact, Fred Durst sucks the lint from underneath the nutsacks of my dead ancestors (yes, they still have their nutsacks, and they are now clean of all lint)...
1. He has absolutely NO talent - If you call listening to other bands and saying, "Yeah, you're cool... why don't you sign with me," talent, then... well, you're probably as ignorant as Fred... But other than that, zip... nothing... His music (and I use the term loosely) sucks (I've got two words for white guys that think they can rap or whatever - "Vanilla Ice" - the only guys to EVER do it worth a shit are the Beastie Boys, and they did it oh so well...). I used to refer to him as "marginally talented," but I can't even do that, anymore... because he has no idea of what music means, other than to encite angst, anger (and let's not forget rape) out of groups of adolescent testosterone-driven sheep that don't have a clue, either...
2. He thinks the ladies dig him... - the only reason Fred was so angry/masogynistic on his first album is because he had about ten different grudges against girls that wouldn't give him any play in high school... For about a week, Fred was popular with the ladies... and then they saw through his bullshit and sent him packing... Fred still doesn't get any play... because he's a loser...
3. He's a punk - He thinks he can throw his "A&R" muscle around and threaten bands that tell him to go fuck himself backwards... Fact is, if he didn't blow a dozen guys from Interscope in order to get his own little label (responsible for such shitty acts as Puddle of Mudd (NOTE: I dig Cold, and they're on his label... but that has nothing to do with Gay Fred)) in the first place, he's be nowhere in the business... Fact is, he was just lucky... Anyone could do what he does for Interscope... period...
4. There is noooooo "reason 4"
5. He wears a red Yankees hat... - this is pretty self-explanitory, but nonetheless... Only losers like Fred wear hats of baseball teams that are the wrong color... Yeah, I know, it was trendy for about a week, but come on...
6. "Rap-rock" went out in about 1998 - C'mon, Fred... BOOOOOOOOOORRRRING!!!!
7. He thinks he's cooler than he is - pretty cut and dry... He runs around spouting a bunch of shit that he thinks people should listen to... and he thinks that he speaks for some big chunk of the music biz... when in actuality, he only speaks for his own, piece of tick turd self... Gay Fred, no one cares what you think. I'm sorry that you think that they do.
(note: yes... I am aware that no one cares what I think, either... but I am not disillusioned enough to think that any of you do in the first place...)
8. ...did I mention that Gay Fred is a no-talent, loser-fuck, punk bitch???
c'mon, Tony, tell us what you really think
I really wouldn't care if he showed up on my doorstep tomorrow with his posse of bodyguards and they beat the shit out of me for talking all the shit I do about him... or if he (tried) to do it by himself... it would just prove my point further... Fred sucks... LimpBizkit sucks... and I can't wait for the opportunity to talk more shit about him...
I suppose I could go on with all the things that are wrong with the world with a complete douche like Fred raking in zillions of dollars putting out nickle & dime tripe that a ten year-old could write... but I am gonna give it a rest, for now... and hope that some LimpBizkit loser fan does a search on Google or Yahoo or wherever and comes to my page and reads all my Fred Durst articles and starts to cry...
Listening to: doubleDrive - "1000 Yard Stare" (1999)
Yeah, I have devoted some space on here to this issue before, but it's usually relating to specific bit of "Durstdom" (or "Durstosterone," if you will) With the release of their new CD (I have NO fucking clue what the name is, nor do I care... all I saw was his fat-assed face on some puke-green cover with the word LimpBizkit, and I was onto looking for other stuff), I figured I would get a little more general about why, in fact, Fred Durst sucks the lint from underneath the nutsacks of my dead ancestors (yes, they still have their nutsacks, and they are now clean of all lint)...
1. He has absolutely NO talent - If you call listening to other bands and saying, "Yeah, you're cool... why don't you sign with me," talent, then... well, you're probably as ignorant as Fred... But other than that, zip... nothing... His music (and I use the term loosely) sucks (I've got two words for white guys that think they can rap or whatever - "Vanilla Ice" - the only guys to EVER do it worth a shit are the Beastie Boys, and they did it oh so well...). I used to refer to him as "marginally talented," but I can't even do that, anymore... because he has no idea of what music means, other than to encite angst, anger (and let's not forget rape) out of groups of adolescent testosterone-driven sheep that don't have a clue, either...
2. He thinks the ladies dig him... - the only reason Fred was so angry/masogynistic on his first album is because he had about ten different grudges against girls that wouldn't give him any play in high school... For about a week, Fred was popular with the ladies... and then they saw through his bullshit and sent him packing... Fred still doesn't get any play... because he's a loser...
3. He's a punk - He thinks he can throw his "A&R" muscle around and threaten bands that tell him to go fuck himself backwards... Fact is, if he didn't blow a dozen guys from Interscope in order to get his own little label (responsible for such shitty acts as Puddle of Mudd (NOTE: I dig Cold, and they're on his label... but that has nothing to do with Gay Fred)) in the first place, he's be nowhere in the business... Fact is, he was just lucky... Anyone could do what he does for Interscope... period...
4. There is noooooo "reason 4"
5. He wears a red Yankees hat... - this is pretty self-explanitory, but nonetheless... Only losers like Fred wear hats of baseball teams that are the wrong color... Yeah, I know, it was trendy for about a week, but come on...
6. "Rap-rock" went out in about 1998 - C'mon, Fred... BOOOOOOOOOORRRRING!!!!
7. He thinks he's cooler than he is - pretty cut and dry... He runs around spouting a bunch of shit that he thinks people should listen to... and he thinks that he speaks for some big chunk of the music biz... when in actuality, he only speaks for his own, piece of tick turd self... Gay Fred, no one cares what you think. I'm sorry that you think that they do.
(note: yes... I am aware that no one cares what I think, either... but I am not disillusioned enough to think that any of you do in the first place...)
8. ...did I mention that Gay Fred is a no-talent, loser-fuck, punk bitch???
c'mon, Tony, tell us what you really think
I really wouldn't care if he showed up on my doorstep tomorrow with his posse of bodyguards and they beat the shit out of me for talking all the shit I do about him... or if he (tried) to do it by himself... it would just prove my point further... Fred sucks... LimpBizkit sucks... and I can't wait for the opportunity to talk more shit about him...
I suppose I could go on with all the things that are wrong with the world with a complete douche like Fred raking in zillions of dollars putting out nickle & dime tripe that a ten year-old could write... but I am gonna give it a rest, for now... and hope that some LimpBizkit loser fan does a search on Google or Yahoo or wherever and comes to my page and reads all my Fred Durst articles and starts to cry...
Listening to: doubleDrive - "1000 Yard Stare" (1999)
posted by TONY at 9/26/2003 05:34:00 AM
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