10.11.2006

Some Things That Have Ruined Music

I decided that I would post a list of things that, over the years, has helped to make music worse, to me anyway...

...in no particular order:

¤ Fred Durst - Okay, this was kind of an easy first choice, given my past rants about him... but let's face it - he's an easy target. You know you're sitting there, yourself, thinking, "Yeah, Fred is a fuckin' retard..." The innovator of mook-metal hasn't done anything relative since his first album except leak a sex tape and call bands that are better than his names... The goofy clones that Limp Bizkit (and the later limpbizkit) spawned have all faded into oblivion, as well... but it was a pretty rough ride, there, for a few years... Here's to hoping that he won't resurface with his own reality show... because I may, then, have to kill him.

¤ "emo" - I hate it... I hate it... I hate it... I'm sorry... wait... no, I'm not. Cookie cutter music for a cookie cutter generation of... cookie cutters... There's been an upswing of emo kids running around my town, recently, listening to horrible music... and I wan't to smack them... I won't... but I want to. Reminds me of a quote from South Park:
"To be a non-conformist, you have to dress in black, and listen to the same music we do."
That makes me laugh everytime I hear it.

¤ "The Matrix" - no, not the movies (although, honestly the last two of those sucked far worse than I care to mention), the songwriters... Basically, these three people write one song and then sell it to ten different artists with different lyrics... Case in point - Avril Lavigne's "Complicated," Liz Phair's "Why Can't I," Hillary Duff's "So Yesterday," and Lillix's "It's About Time..." All the same song (well, if you remove the Hillary Duff song from the list, the other three are EXACT duplicates. Sing the lyrics from one song over the other... amazing, huh? Well, no... it's just lame)... all written by the same three douchebags... There's a song by Simple Plan called "Welcome to my Life" that is also basically the exact same song, although I've never been able to nail down the songwriting credits... If "the Matrix" didn't write it then that's only worse because that means that Simple Plan ripped them off, making them far bigger douchebags.

¤ rap videos - call it rap, hip-hop... whatever... Apparently, every rapper that makes a video lives in a mansion that would make Richard Branson (thanks, just d) envious... They all drink mad amounts of Cristal, have more gold around their neck and in their mouth than Fort Knox (okay, I know that platinum is now the hip thing for "grillwork"), drive cars that cost more than God and have more skanky tramps than the red light district in Soho... which brings me to my next one -

¤ Mtv - What the fuck happened to Mtv? When we first got it in the early '80s, it was nothing but videos, with billboards from, like, Certs and Coors... Now, if you find a video on there, you're lucky... or more likely unlucky, considering the crap that they play... The only video channel worth a shit, anymore, is VH-1 Classic... which sorta sucks, because they don't play anything that's not at least ten years old... but at least it's loaded with music and low on advertising. I can remember coming home from school (yeah, way back when) and turning on Mtv and basically leaving it on there until dinner. Now, all they show are silly shows like "Pimp My Ride," "Cribs," "My Super Sweet Sixteen" and other shows that basically make me want to hurt someone. The name of the channel is "Music Television," but maybe they should change it to BNMWtv ("Basically No Music Whatsoever Television").

¤ Whitney Houston, Christina Aguilera, et al - otherwise known as "the oversingers." I honestly think that Christina Aguilera has a decent voice... but the way she sings... just drives me insane... That whole "holding out a word and singing a thousand notes overtop of it" thing is horrible... just plain horrible. Of course, that over-the-top style thing has been borrowed by countless numbers of others, at this point (just watch American Idol and see for yourself). Pop music has gone from shitty to shittier and people that oversing only make it worse... and again... want to hurt someone... like... well, them... Not some idle stranger, or anything...

¤ American Idol - Reducing music to a popularity contest to make "stars" (see: Reuben "Where Are You Now" Studdard) is pretty sickening. The day that Paula Abdul tells people how to sing better is... well, a very sad day, indeed.

¤ Kanye West - I've ranted about him, recently, so there's not much reason to re-hash it, other than to say that he's a disgrace to music, his own people, and well... basically humanity, everywhere.

¤ nu-metal - *snore*

¤ pop-country - I'm not sure when country became pop music... but it did... and it sucks. The girls might be nice to look at... but they have no business calling what they do "country" just because the guitars (kind of) twang... it's pop... and it sucks.

¤ band reunions - Okay... KISS wore it into the ground (I believe they're still on their "farewell tour" - for the last ten years)... The Eagles made a bazillion dollars while hating eachother's guts... Motley Crue showed everyone that they still pretty much sucked after Shout at the Devil... Of course, that only scratches the surface of the reunions in recent years (that should have just been left alone)...

There's a lot more that makes music suck... but this is plenty.

Listening to: my favoritest band in the world...