Simpson's Father - "Not Dishonest"

The father of recently-busted lip-syncher Ashlee Simpson recently told reporters regarding the rampant coverage of the nationally-televised flop:
"You would have thought we got an abortion or we were doing cocaine. Did we do something wrong here? Nothing we did was dishonest."

Ummm... excuse me? Not dishonest? You're a minister, aren't you? Your studies and all have probably given you a pretty good grasp on the term "dishonest," don't ya think? Going out in front of millions of tv viewers and pretending to sing, trying to convince them that you were, in fact, singing is, in my book anyway, quite dishonest. Going out on national tv in front of millions of viewers afterwards saying, "My band played the wrong song (wtf?)," is incredibly dishonest.

Ashlee had this to say:
"I was sick, it was something I couldn't help so I just kind of put it behind me."

Ashlee dear, we saw the backstage footage of you in dress rehearsal. You missed a letter, there... The word you were looking for - it's not "sick." It's "suck."

You won't be "putting this behind you" for the rest of your fifteen minutes, I'm afraid... and it looks like the stopwatch is on about 14:30, so it's probably time to make with the porn tape (which you will most likely fake the orgasm for, as well).


Listening to: King Crimson