Borrrring...

There hasn't been a whole lot interesting going on in the world of music news, lately... unless you care about things like PETA getting mad at Kelly Osborne for dying her bulldog pink, her brother Jack Thai boxing, Constantine getting booted from American Idol, Tommy Lee hitting on a tranny, Perry Farrell's new band, or any of that stuff... blah...

Listening to: nonpoint - "Development" (2002)

Have I Changed My Tune?

American Idol... You either love it or hate it, it seems. I've always fallen into the latter category, I guess. I mean, you get a bunch of amateurish singers, throw them up on stage singing usually horrible songs, sprinkle in a guest star or two and before you know it, someone named Kelly, or Reuben, or Fantasia is all over the airwaves and Mtv and all that, becoming household names and selling records...

I can remember posting on this subject before a year or so ago, and saying something about the fact that American Idol has cheapened the music business... and I still agree. However, I don't think, like so many others, that it is ruining the music business. I mean, there always has and always will be fake music... marginally-talented (or sometimes very talented) singers singing horrible music they didn't write fluffed up with fancy production, publicity out the yang... They just make rock music more important, if anything... well, "real" rock music, anyway. There is plenty of "fake" rock music, too - and by "fake rock," I'm referring to the prepackaged junk that people like "the Matrix" are responsible for, covered in the same flash and schmaltz that pop music is... but all that "fake" stuff has nothing to do with the music I write, or the music my friends sit and write for their bands...

So let American Idol go on churning out the corporate pop spooge year after year after year. Music will always come back to what is real.

Listening to: The Cult - "The Cult" (1994)

...from the comments (regarding the post on the Limp Bizkit blog of their new "video"):

hey man, check their video on their main site, i'd love to hear your opinion!

Well, ask and ye shall recieve... I would have to say that "The Truth" is probably the best thing to come out of the Bizkitheads in several years... and it totally sucks ass.

I've tried... I reall have tried to adopt a "kinder, gentler Tony" when it comes to new music... and I've always liked Wes Borland... the smartest thing he ever did was get tired of Fred Durst's shit and leave Limp Bizkit... maybe the dumbest thing he did was ever come back... Well, it's not like he had any kind of burgeoning solo career, or anything, to look forward to... and I don't know how many people would want to watch "My Life With Wes Borland" (although I think it would stand to be more interesting than "My Life With Fred Durst")... so maybe coming back to the Bizkitheads was his only way...

Anyhow, the video... first off, it starts off with this stuff about how it's the first time Limp Bizkit has performed together since Wes left the band (which didn't really make too much since, BUT I assume that they were referring to the fact that while Wes was out of the band, the name was actually "LimpBizkit" (no space)... or something)... and then comes this thing across the screen that says, "This is the actual performance caught live on tape," which is probably half true, anyway... I mean, they were there, performing... but if they're trying to imply that the music was in any way "live," then they are bigger liars than Scott Peterson.

And the music? Ugh... Well, the riff... it's a typical Wes riff (which Fred I'm sure will take all the credit for teaching to Wes)... but it just goes over and over and over and over... and the chorus is boring... and the bridge is fucking stupid (thanks to Fred)... I mean, it's almost an okay song... until Fred opens his mouth...

So if I had to sum up what to expect from the re-Borland...ed... Limp Bizkit, I would have to say - more shitty nu-metal rap/rock that has been dead longer than Hoffa with Fred Durst's typical mookiness hollering, "Look at me! I got absolutely NO pussy in high school!"

Listening to: Chevelle - "This Kind of Thinking"

I Suppose it Was Inevitable

Everyone's favorite mook, Fred Durst, has jumped aboard the reality-show bandwagon.

Durst and a team of producers are in talks to produce a "hybrid" reality/talk show - "My Life With Fred Durst" (or as I like to call it, "...'cause You Don't Wanna Hear My Music"). The weekly one hour show will combine celebrity interviews with segments documenting Durst's personal and professional life.

Two cable outlets have supposedly already expressed interest in the show...

So... they think people will actually give enough of a shit to watch? Well, in all fairness, I might have to sit through a couple episodes, myself... I mean, it will make for some good posts on here, after all, considering how much love I have for Fred.

Listening to: Ornette Coleman - "Free Jazz"

I got the Dark New Day EP from iTunes, yesterday (thank you Wild Cherry Pepsi)... I had previously used Cool Edit Pro to record the streams from their website and convert them into MP3s I could load onto my MiniDisc player and listen to away from the computer (I used to listen to MP3s on my Palm Tungsten E, but I think I may have worn the battery out (as well as the screen) at this point)... but the iTunes files are of superior quality, plus there's a new song on the EP, "Pieces." I like it as much as the single, "Brother."

Twelve Year Silence is due out June 14.

Those of you unfamiliar, Dark New Day is a new band made up of former members of Sevendust, Stereomud, DoubleDrive, Skrape and Virgos Merlot, as well as also appearing in bands like Stuck Mojo, Tommy Lee and Creed. Friends for a long time, they have finally decided the time is right to come together and do what they've wanted to do since they were kids.

Do me a favor? Go to the band's website (or alternately, you can go to their myspace page), check out the songs and come back here and tell me what you think? Right on...

Listening to: Strapping Young Lad (2003)

Maynard, the Conclusion...

from toolband.com

"Christians, huh? So forgive me." - Bill Hicks

Good news, April fools fans. The writing and recording is back under way. When approached for comment on his recent encounter with the Son of God, Maynard said, "That guy's a punk!"
As it turns out, Maynard was out "location scouting" near the Fourth Street bridge in downtown Los Angeles when he "found Jesus."
"Turns out he was here the whole time, and not that difficult to find if you know where to look," Maynard reported. Apparently Jesus offered him the position of campaign manager for his new line of "Holier Than Thou" sparkling holy water, which Maynard of course accepted. What wasn't obvious was that this guy is a total drunk. It's an occupational hazard. Every time our Lord goes to get a glass of water, it transforms into a generic grocery store Merlot. Because the alcoholic is the Son of God and an all-knowing being, he knew of Maynard’s extensive interest in collecting wine. So he went to work trying to get his lips on it. Maynard caught J.C. in his cellar transforming his precious wine collection into urine, then pissing it into the empty "sparkling holy water" bottles for the eventual sale to all those people who bought, read, and embraced "The Celestine Prophesy." Tragic.
"Truth be told," Maynard confessed, "I wasn't feeling top notch when I found him. The evening prior to the day in question I had over-indulged in a series of bad Molotov shrimp cocktails with a side of Makers Mark and twin strippers. So after an entire night of G.I. Blowouts, hot/cold sweats, and blurred vision, it's very possible that the guy I met wasn't even Jesus at all. For all I know, it was Willem Dafoe."

Shew! That's a load off...

Listening to: Muse - "Absolution"

Maynard, Part Two...

Mtv's Kurt Loder emailed TooL's Maynard James Keenan again today, asking him up front if he was lying to them regarding "finding Jesus." His reply:

"heh heh."

Jesus.

A bit cryptic (surprise, surprise)... but I think it may put to rest whether or not he actually rediscovered religion and was planning on leaving TooL in pursuit of the Lord... then again, maybe it won't put anything to rest... There's still a very real possibility that it's all true... Who knows, at this point? What it's actually alluding to, I guess we will have to wait for more news from Keenan, himself.

Listening to: a stream from soma.fm

Keenan Leaves TooL???

Wow... I have NO idea if this could possibly be true or if it could be classified as the ultimate hoax/Aprol Fool's Day prank... but there are several reports, including one authenticated as being from TooL/A Perfect Circle front man Maynard James Keenan, himself, that the singer has rediscovered religion and, at least for the moment, left TooL in the middle of recording their latest album.

From toolshed:

I have no idea how to introduce this, so I'll just post it. This is an email Maynard (the real one) sent in moments ago:

"hi, kabir. i thought it only fair to inform you first, before you hear it second or third hand. some recent events have led me to the rediscovery of jesus. tool will need to take the back seat. this may come as a shock. i just thought you should know considering all the support you given us over the years.
all my faith. maynard."

This is an actual email from actual MJK.

Mtv's Kurt Loder emailed Keenan after hearing, looking for confirmation - Keenan's response:

"I did, in fact, find Jesus. More news to follow. God bless ya."

A posting to the band's website also makes reference to this, although who wrote it remains unclear:

"I went to the studio to give Maynard a bottle of wine ... [and] not only wasn't Maynard there, but ... I was told Maynard has indeed 'found Jesus' and that, for this reason, he's abandoned the project for the time being, if not entirely."

Wow... wow, wow, wow, wow, wow... If this is, in fact, true and not an April Fool's prank (which I certainly would not put past them)... this is some big news...

Apparently, one person was very happy when he heard this. In an email to Mtv News, former Korn guitarist Brian "Head" Welch said,
"This is a beautiful, beautiful outpouring of the Holy Spirit."

This is really some head-spinning news. If he has really found religion, I don't want to knock him for it - considering his past "views" (most notably in songs like TooL's "Eulogy" and A Perfect Circle's "Judith"), it would be a bit of a shock, to say the least. But maybe, in his wicked little sense of humor, he's taking a poke at Head's recent conversion and rather strange antics that soon followed... I could never say one way or the other unless I talked to the man, himself... and seeing as that's probably not going to happen anytime soon, I will just hope that if it is true, it is for the right reasons.

Listening to: Black Label Society - "Mafia" (2005)

Am I Getting Ripped Off?

Sometimes, there are weird coincidences... and then, there are those Twilight Zoney ones that make ya go "hmm..." for example -

In a post less than 48 hours ago, I joked about how, when offered money to praise the Big Mac, KISS' Gene Simmons would probably be the one rock guy to jump on the band wagon, although he would probably want MacDonald's to change the name to the "KISS Burger" or the "Big KISS."

Lo and behold (via antiMUSIC) :
(note: this story is an April Fool's hoax... but I thought that the timing was incredibly freaky)

Gene Simmons has revealed his latest money making venture, KISS Burger. The grease painted KISSer announced the formation of the new fast-food chain which will sport a KISS theme with employees donning the family makeup and outfits of the group. During a press conference on Friday, Simmons said of the new venture, "We've sold KISS caskets, condoms, tampons and oh yeah millions of records, so this was the next natural step for KISS. KISS burgers, KISS shakes, KISS fries! All KISS with my tongue on every wrapper! At our grand opening I will wrestle Ronald McDonald and show everyone who's the real God of Burgers!"

Simmons said that they hope to open the first franchise in early 2006 in Peoria, Illinois. As for the menu items, Simmons said that is still being focused grouped but he is considering making KISS Burger the first kosher fast-food chain. Paul Stanley had no comment.

Considering that there is another story regarding Fred Durst's gay wedding to Wes Borland also appears on the day's news (besides my Durst-bashing in general, I had a post in February that took a poke at Fred and Wes being lovers), I'm beginning to wonder if the girl that wrote both those stories comes and reads my site... makes ya go "hmmm," I tell ya.

Listening to: Mudvayne - "L.D. 50"