My God... Is this Even Real?

Apparently, everyone's favorite droop-eyed richer than God gutterslut, Paris Hilton, is in the studio with Li'l John, at work on her upcoming album??? Give me a fucking break, people.

So, it seems she got all "distracted" in between filming some more of that Simple Life dreck and filming some movie (that's bound to blow worse than Oliver Stone's Alexander) and didn't have time to record her album... Jesus Tapdancing Christ... is this even remotely newsworthy? Well, what I mean is, does she think she can do all this stupid shit (like try to act and write a book and sing) because she's a Hilton, or something, and that people will care enough to go watch her movies or buy her album? ...wait, what am I saying? Of course they will. There are tons of sheep that will flock to this tripe like they flocked to her on television and to her book and all that shit... because that's just what they are... mindless sheep.

I'm so tired of hearing stuff like this about such utter garbage like her... OD, already.

Listening to: Prime STH

New Releases

Well, it's gonna be a little while, but two sure-to-be great albums are on the horizon.

Early reports are that Frances the Mute, the follow-up to The Mars Volta's awesome full-length debut, De-loused in the Comatorium, will be out March 22, '05.

Also, dredg is currently in the studio working on the finishing tracks (with producer Terry Date) for their upcoming follow-up to 2002's el cielo. The album is slated for an April '05 release.

Looking forward to March and April, then.

Listening to: Prime STH

Payola?
(well, okay, not really... more like just "theft")

Recently, Infinity Broadcasting (the company that owns stations like "the wazoo" WAZU and WLVQ in Columbus, Ohio) fired its top programmer in Rochester, New York for taking gifts from record companies.

According to the New York Times, the programmer "had accepted an unspecified sum's worth of gift certificates sent ostensibly for use in listener contests or in station promotions." One representative of a major label said that they had ordered more than $1,000 dollars in gift certificates from Best Buy to be sent to Infinity Rochester in the name of said programmer. The certificates were reportedly never given away.

Damn... I almost feel bad, now... I mean, could I have gotten in trouble for walking out of the radio station once with a two-litre (well, one of two hundred two-litres we had for a promotion) from Pepsi that was supposed to be given away? Well, considering that I didn't take it "from" Pepsi and it didn't have anything to do with playing any music (I was, in fact, just thirsty)... and with what some other folks walked out of that station with, I'm not that concerned.

Listening to: Prime STH - "Underneath the Surface" (2001)

The Lion, The Witch And Amy Lee

So, there seems to be a bit of a hub-bub over Amy Lee and the upcoming kids' film The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe, based on C.S. Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia book of the same name. The Evanescence singer is making claims that she’s doing the music for it and also has been offered a small role in the movie. However, it appears that she forgot to tell the film's producers this wonderful news because they are, in fact, denying anything remotely resembling what she is telling the press has or will ever happen.

The controversy seems to be centered around a recent Mtv interview that Ms. Lee did regarding Evanescence's new album...

It would look as if Ms. Lee has a bit of a problem controlling her mouth, and her ego... She's done stuff like this before, y'know? She likes to spout on about things that aren't really any of her business and sometimes, she'll just straight up make stuff up (as appears to be the care, here). My advice would be for her to just keep her mouth shut unless she's singing her sneaky-Jesus tunes...

Listening to: nothing

In the spirit of Thanksgiving... Homer & punkin pie...

'Clef Looks to Buy an Island

Y'know, I try not to focus too much on one person in my ranting and raving... I mean, I'm an "equal opportunity offender." But sometimes, people are so aggrevating.

Take Wylclef Jean, for instance. I give him ten kinds of hell... only because he deserves it, though. I guess this is a few months old at this point, but it's a jewel to me... Seems that after the recent crop of hurricaines that ravaged his former homeland of Haiti, Wyclef is looking to buy an island and turn it into... you got it, a luxury resort... a tourist trap.

"It's definitely going to be more than [sic] a property... more like a whole island and I'm going to work on developing that into the next Montego Bay.

"You already know that if Wyclef buys an island, you all come on it. Those who know me already know the festivities and the excitement that will be on that island."

Let me guess... you're doing it for the people, right? Just like you did "'Clef's Kids" (which is currently defunct due to "lack of funds") for the children, right? You told all "your people" in Haiti to "plant more trees" to help discourage mudslides after torrential rains, yet you didn't buy a single tree for them to plant, did ya (he didn't)? I'll give ya your "props" or whatever you were wanting for even going there after the hurricaines in the first place, but c'mon...

Face it... the only thing he's thinking when he says he wants to buy an island in Haiti and put a luxury resort (that, incidentally, none of his countrymen besides himself will be able to afford to go to) on it is that he is looking to make even more ridiculous amounts of money... that he will spend on stupid cars and jacuzzis and houses for himself...

You are an incredible hypocrite, Wyclef. Also, how bright of a move you think it is to build a huge resort in a location that is such a bullseye for hurricaines? If ya wanna spend some money down there, why don't you just buy all the Haitians that lost everything this summer a new house, or something (it would probably be cheaper, too)? Nah, that would be too easy, wouldn't it?

Listening to: Chris Whitley - "Dirt Floor" (1998)

He Has a Blog???

Imagine my surprise when my favorite whipping boy, Fred Durst, showed up on Xanga with a weblog. I almost fell out of my seat. I thought he did all this on the band's website diary-thing? I was hoping this was a sign that maybe he was through trying to be a rock star... but no... I guess the have a new album planned in the near future... and the guy that said he'd never return to the band, Wes Borland, has returned to the band. Oy...

Anyhow, if you hop on over there, you'll get a glimpse into the mind of a total simpleton trying to use big words and complete wannabe-metaphysical bullshit to try to make himself seem smart... but as we already know, he's not. He has fooled some people, apprently - mostly european teens that can't speak english worth much of a shit. Oh, there's a handful of American teens on there, as well (who also can't seem to speak english worth a shit).

Some of you "regular readers" (well, okay, the six of you) will remember that after one post regarding the fact that I think that Fred is one of the biggest dorks in the music business, I received some "threatening material" in an email that came from the Jacksonville area... I believed at the time that the mail could have come from one of Fred's cronie dickweeds... I'll probably never know... but hey! Now that Fred has entered the world of weblogging, maybe he'll do a google search and end up here where he can read about how much of a fuck I think he is for himself and post a comment (not that he does that - apparently he doesn't venture outside his own blog)... Maybe I will go to his blog and invite him to come here and read my thoughts... Nah... he's got enough to deal with inside his own bizkithead, anyway...

Listening to: Stereomud

Yikes...

I was flipping the channels and I came across a recent repeat of Saturday Night Live on E! (Entertainment Television). Steve Buscemi was the host. I like Steve, a lot. He's a wicked good actor (he also reminds me of my friend Jim). The musical act was Third Eye Blind. Okay... I've never really been a fan of their music at all, but for some reason, I didn't change the channel. Their singer, Stephan Jenkins, had those $5,500 in-ear monitors... Supposedly, they help you hear yourself better than just trying to hear yourself over regular monitors. It appears that someone forgot to tell Mr. Jenkins that fact, because basically, he sounded not unlike a sick duck when they performed "How's It Gonna Be." Apparently, they have a bit of a reputation for being a shitty live band... and on that SNL I saw tonight, they came through with flying colors of suck... The only band I've ever personally seen live that sucked worse was Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Listening to: Stereomud - "EveryGiven Moment" (2003)

Oy...

I was gonna drop the whole thing, because I figured my last statement regarding the matter stood pretty strong... until I came across this little jem:

"Just like any artist in America, she has a backing track that she pushes so you don't have to hear her croak through a song on national television," [Ashlee's dad/manager] Joe Simpson told [uber-douche] Ryan Seacrest on Los Angeles radio station KIIS-FM. "No one wants to hear that."

Hmmm... "any artist in America" does this, eh Joe? Do you know the difference between a "backing track" and a "lead vocal track?" Seems like you have convoluted the two terms (no doubt on purpose) in order to try to fool the masses, which you may fool a few of them... but come on, Joe! You may be an idiot, but we're not.

Seriously, though... the only thing that stands to keep her in the spotlight is the porn tape that you're hiding in your safe (for just such an emergency) of her and Ryan Cabrera (doesn't he seem like he belongs in that poseur boy band thing, Busted?).

Listening to: Clutch - "Pure Rock Fury" (2001)

Simpson's Father - "Not Dishonest"

The father of recently-busted lip-syncher Ashlee Simpson recently told reporters regarding the rampant coverage of the nationally-televised flop:
"You would have thought we got an abortion or we were doing cocaine. Did we do something wrong here? Nothing we did was dishonest."

Ummm... excuse me? Not dishonest? You're a minister, aren't you? Your studies and all have probably given you a pretty good grasp on the term "dishonest," don't ya think? Going out in front of millions of tv viewers and pretending to sing, trying to convince them that you were, in fact, singing is, in my book anyway, quite dishonest. Going out on national tv in front of millions of viewers afterwards saying, "My band played the wrong song (wtf?)," is incredibly dishonest.

Ashlee had this to say:
"I was sick, it was something I couldn't help so I just kind of put it behind me."

Ashlee dear, we saw the backstage footage of you in dress rehearsal. You missed a letter, there... The word you were looking for - it's not "sick." It's "suck."

You won't be "putting this behind you" for the rest of your fifteen minutes, I'm afraid... and it looks like the stopwatch is on about 14:30, so it's probably time to make with the porn tape (which you will most likely fake the orgasm for, as well).


Listening to: King Crimson

Wow... Impressive...


Frontman for the White Stripes, Jack White, reportedly turned down an offer to appear on Lindsay Lohan's debut album, Speak. Said White:
"Somebody dared to ask me. Ha! She's another 16-year-old actress making an album. Like, 'NO!'"

Y'know, I don't particularly care for Lindsay Lohan in any respect, but she apparently wanted to get White on her album because she was an admirer of his (and I use the term quite loosely) talent... Just like I wouldn't mind having Ian Astbury, Chris Whitley, or Alison Krauss on my debut (I would, of course, expect them to turn me down, but I would expect them to probably do it with some decency, as well)... But, of course, he had to go run his mouth and provide us with yet more proof that he is, in fact, a great big douche...

Thanks for reminding us, dickhead.

Listening to: King Crimson - "Discipline" (1981)

I Told Ya So (err... Didn't I?)

I posted about this subject about a year ago (read it here), and here it is in the news, again:

(courtesy of YahooNews)

NEW YORK - Ja Rule's manager was arrested Wednesday as part of an investigation into the music label once known as Murder Inc.

Ron "Gutta" Robinson, 29, was arraigned on money laundering charges in federal court and released on $500,000 bond.

...

Federal prosecutors are probing ties between drug dealers and Murder Inc., the recording home of hip-hop star Ja Rule and other platinum-selling acts such as Ashanti. Last week, the label's bookkeeper was indicted, also on money laundering charges.

Murder Inc. changed its name to The Inc. earlier this year after executives said the label's image was hurt by court filings alleging that they had been laundering drug money from a crack dealer, Kenneth "Supreme" McGriff.

Federal officials also have linked McGriff to several drug-related murders, according to court filings. McGriff is serving time on a gun offense but has not been charged with the murders.

...

*_*_*

The Inc., huh? Yeah, probably a good idea to get the word murder out of your company's title, maybe? Especially when you're laundering money from drug dealers/actual murderers...


Listening to: Atreyu

Ozzy Nixes "Osbournes"

"When you watch a 25-minute episode, I've been filming all day... At the end of it I didn't like having cameras around the house all the time."

Well, it's about time, Oz (I'd have told those Mtv fuckers to get the hell out of my house a long time before you did)... Just don't come out in the next few weeks and tell us that your totally overrated/underdisciplined daughter, Kelly, will be getting her own spin-off (a la Jessica Simpson's less-than-talented sister, Ashlee).

To be honest, there were a few moments in "The Osbournes" televsion series that were good for a laugh... but seeing son Jack killing a dog in his sleep was not one of them... The end was pretty obvious after Ozzy's ATV accident... they just waited about a year too long to say so...

Listening to: Atreyu - "The Curse" (2004)

Fucking Grr...

Well, great... After trying out Blogger's comments on this new design, not really liking them that much, then going back to Haloscan's - it seems that it won't go back and add comments to the older posts (something about Blogger's "show comments" thing in the settings menu)... That REALLY pisses me off. I get a lot of traffic from search engines sending people here to old posts... and now, they can't comment on them...

I suppose if you want to comment on anything old, just use this post's comments (or any others with comments available) to do so...

Listening to: my blood boil...

DLR, Paramedic?

Former Van Halen frontman David Lee Roth is in training with a New York ambulance service to become a paramedic.

Roth has reportedly been on over two hundred calls since he began his training about six weeks ago. He supposedly has also saved the life of a heart-attack victim with the use of a defibrulator.

All I can say is, "Go Dave!" Van Halen hasn't been worth a crust of shit since you left...

Listening to: The Cult - "Rare Cult - Disc Six"

Ashlee Simpson: My Two Cents

I had sorta almost forgot about it all, until an Evanescence song sparked my memory.

Ashlee Simpson has to feel about two inches tall, at this point, doncha think? I mean, first, to actually get busted on live TV lip-synching, then to turn around and tell about fourteen different lies about it... Everything from "my band played the wrong song" (how does that excuse a vocal track starting to play overtop of the music), to "I have acid reflux and it makes me lose my voice" (which as a sufferrer of insane amounts of heartburn/acid reflux, it does a lot of shit to ya, but make ya lose your voice? nah) to "my dad made me" (which who could really blame him, 'cause his daughter's voice licks smelly asses). Why couldn't she just come clean and tell everyone that she's just not talented? I've seen a couple episodes of that Mtv show-thing she did and it was as clear as the crooked nose on her face that she's not remotely talented. Her sister Jessica is barely talented, herself, but I don't think a lot of people care... although to be honest, her less-than-average intelligence tends to make any physical upswing she might have pretty irrelevant. But at least she can sorta sing, y'know? Ashlee, on the other hand, is riding on her sister's coattails (conveniently placed on said tails by her money-grubbing family), and falling off them at every opportunity.

Yes, tons of "musicians" use backing tracks when they play live (the aforementioned Evanescence, KISS, etc.) which are more or less accompaniments to the live music/singing that's being done (in an effort to make the live sound comparable to the album)... a handful of people actually fake their way through music live, or sing along to tracks of themselves (did anyone catch Eminem doing just that on Saturday Night Live the week after Ashlee Simpson?), like Britney Spears and Janet Jackson... mainly pop acts... the only other person I can think of offhand in the rock world that fakes their way through music live besides Ashlee Simpson is Kelly Osbourne (who actually pulls more of an Eminem (and her father) kind of thing and sings along to a better track of herself singing, in an attempt to sound better)... and... well, go figure - they both suck in massive quantities of suckdom.

Listening to: Queens of the Stone Age - "R" (2000)

Hmmm...

Well, I guess I will try this template for a while... I love the simpler stuff... I tried to take out the broken links from the old design, but I can't be sure all the links on here are still good... if ya spot any dead ones, feel free to lemme know...


Listening to: David Cross - "Shut Up You Fucking Baby!" (2002)

V. 3.0?

I guess I'm gonna need to make a new template for this site... seeing as all the old article links seem to be non-functional, anymore (well, they work, but they're all slow and shit, now, which is annoying)... as well as there just being some old links and stuff on here... So, rather than actually try to fix all the code, I'll just start from scratch... and try to get it all worked out... but for now, I'm hungry...

Listening to: Steve play my guitar in the chair behind me...

P-Doody is Worthless

Sean Combs' much-publicized, highly-touted "Vote or Die" campaign... well, it fell flat on its face. I voted, basically in hopes that he wouldn't show up on my doorstep and shoot me in the head, but a majority of the "young crowd" didn't see it that way... Only 17% of the young voters turned up to vote in this election - the same pecentage that showed up in the last one... Yes, I do understand that this 17% was a bigger (number-wise) 17% than the 2000 election, but that's not the point... The point is that P-Diddy's vow that he "took over the hip-hop world (by basically appearring in all his artist's music and videos), grabbed the clothing world by storm, and now, we gonna take this votin' mothafucka, too" claim was worth a pile of mookie stinks... The sooner that people like him drop off the face of the planet and into the obscurity they deserve, the sooner that the country can take steps to head in the right direction... because at this point, any direction we head is better than the one we're heading in.

Listening to: APC

More Wyclef-ness

from the comments:
The issue is not whether Wyclef is living up to his appointed responsibility to change the world, nor further is it his character; the issue that might be embraced is his message in this song, "If I was President". If nothing else, the light of this voice, the voice for equality, should shine brighter than any other. Love all, especially yourself.

Okay... first of all, the only real message I could perceive in "If I Were President" is basically that someone would try to kill him and nothing would happen... you can call that a cry for equality if you want, I suppose, but... whatever...
Secondly, I give Wyclef a hard time, because he's a hypocrite... He has this foundation called Clef's Kids, right? He tries to help less fortunate children through something to do with music (how about bypassing the bullshit and just giving me some food instead, 'Clef baby?) Recently, he went on a talk show talking about how he had to shut the foundation down temporarily because they didn't have any money and he was really desparate to find some flow... Well, here's an idea - howsabout he sells one of his THREE three hundred thousand dollar-plus Bentleys that he proudly shows off on Mtv's Cribs to put a little money into the fund? Or is that just too much to ask - to separate an lame-assed no-talent from his much-treasured worthless bling? Apparently, because it's not happening.

Yeah, he loves himself, alrighty...



Listening to: A Perfect Circle - "eMOTIVe" (2004)

Okay. I'm back... in some sort of semi-regular fashion... hope to be, anyway...
I'm not sure how much I like the new posting interface... the WYSIWYG thing is cool, but when you use white text, as I do, it makes it kind of a bitch...

Anyhow, I need to update some stuff on here... remove some links and whatnot... so I'll get around to that eventually, I imagine...

Listening to: the computer go "wheeeeeeeeeee..."