Dimes for Rhymes

I find this pretty strange... I also see it as something that can only be pulled off in the world of hip-hop music.

It seems McDonald's has hired a marketing firm to try to find hip hop artists willing to name drop the Big Mac in their songs in exchange for cash. They're not offering any cash up front, though. Apparently, it's a "pay-for-play" thing. They are reportedly offering the artist anywhere from $1-$5 for every time the song is played on the radio.

I thought this was crazy, but apparently, it's not really anything new. I didn't realize this, but Busta Rhymes was paid nicely for his song "Pass the Courvoisier" by the cognac maker and Kanye West received a nice bit of change for his Seagram's namedropping...

As I said earlier, this strange bit of advertising only really goes over in hip hop music. I mean, could you picture someone like Bruce Dickenson dropping a Big Mac plug in the middle of an Iron Maiden song? (Just as I said that, a rock person came to mind that would probably do it at the drop of a hat - KISS's Gene Simmons - although he may want the name of the sandwich temporarily changed to a "KISSBurger" or a "Big KISS" or something...)

It's worth noting that big brands like Bentley, Rolex, Cristal, Gucci, Mercedes, Dom Perignon, etc. get plugged in hip hop songs all the time and don't have to pay a dime for it. Kinda makes you wonder... The rappers can lure all the women in with promises of Cristal and Rolex bling and all that... but how will a girl react to the offers of gin and BigMacs?

Listening to: ManMadeGod

It Would Appear I am Confused...

...which is not all that uncommon, really. But recently ex-Korn guitarist Brian "Head" Welch sent a "personal letter from God" to rapper 50 Cent regarding the fact that God told Welch to write a song about the rapper entitled "Cheap Name." The lyrics read in part:

"My little boy/ Bow your head in shame/ You've disgraced your father's name now/ It's time for you to lose... Your little toys/ Won't save you from shot 10/ Without me you will not win, no/ I swear you'll lose."

In the letter, Welch explains that he is convinced that the rapper is "a huge force for the devil." He also tells 50 Cent that he is not attacking him, just relaying a message from God. Welch said that the rapper is in danger because, "God told me there will be many attempts made to kill you by the enemy."

Okay... here's where I'm confused... If Welch is this born-again modern day prophet wannabe person for God, and if 50 Cent is a "huge force for the devil," then isn't 50 Cent, in fact, "the enemy?" If, on the other hand, the devil is "the enemy," then why would he want to kill 50 Cent, who is such a "huge force" for him?

It's about this point that I become convinced that Head may have done far too many drugs to make any sense.

Listening to: Opeth - "Damnation"

New dredg

Well it would appear that the new album from dredg will finally be out June 21st... or June 28th... at this point, just being able to say "late June" is good enough...

You can go over to MySpace and check out a track from it called "Bug Eyes," as well as hear a couple rather humorous remixes of songs done on a little Casio keyboard.

I am so looking forward to the follow-up to one of the absolute greatest albums front to back I have ever heard in my life (el cielo).

Listening to: Damien Rice - "O"

What Does the Future Hold?

My friend Mike and I were sitting around watching tv, last night... Mike is one of those "non-commercial" kinda guys, so when ever a show goes to a break, he starts flipping the channels like a madman (and I can't really blame him that much - if I have to sit through that Burger King Tenderscrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch commercial with Darius Rucker one more time, I may hurt someone). We come across VH-1 and they were re-airing that "...And Ya Don't Stop" tribute/retrospective on hip hop... After watching it for a few minutes, we came to a very interesting realization. It's no news flash that the big "music video channels" don't really show music videos, anymore (in fact, Mtv rotates a whopping total of thirty-five videos a week) - they air programs about the music videos they used to show ten years ago (when they, in fact, showed videos), or in Mtv's case, they air programs that usually don't have anything to do with music, at all. So what are these channels going to be airing in another ten years? Shows about the shows that were about the videos they used to air? Or maybe Pimp My Ride: The First Ten Years? Will they bring back all the girls from My Super Sweet Sixteen for a week long retrospective about what it was like to be a sixteen year-old spoiled brat? Will they go hunting down the former members of B2K or Blink 182 and try to get them to reunite (well, hey, at least that has something to do with music - sorta)? ...and you thought the programming now sucked...

Those of you that are lucky enough to get VH-1 Classics and/or VH-1 MegaHits, be glad that there is still someplace where you can watch a video music channel that actually shows nothing but music videos.

Listening to: The Mars Volta - "Frances the Mute" (2005)

...and He is Funky

So, I'm in the middle of recording some music, sitting here in front of the computer... I'm looping a pad over this drum track, seeing if it was really what I was looking for... In my quest to multitask media, I start flipping the channels (as I have been known to do) on a muted tv in a moment of distraction and I come across the NAACP Awards show on Fox about fifteen minutes ago... Much to my delight, Prince begins tearing the joint apart with this (presumably) fifteen minute jam session that was completely off the hook. Morris Day & Jerome pop onto stage and get about a minute of "The Bird" out... I don't really like Sheila E. but even she was smokin', tonight. His band kicks so much amounts of ass, it's not funny (seriously... no, I'm not laughing). What a treat for a Friday night.

Listening to: an as yet unnamed song I am in the middle of recording...

Rockers Flex BitTorrent's Muscle

(Wired)

With MTV and VH1 now crowded with programs like Date My Mom, The Ashlee Simpson Show and Celebrity Fit Club, there's little room for music videos, especially from independent artists.

That's why one up-and-coming group, the Decemberists, opted to release its new music video, Sixteen Military Wives, for free using BitTorrent. The high-quality video file has logged more than 1,700 downloads since it was released over the weekend.

"For the most part, MTV and VH1 won't touch video unless bands have sold a huge number of records," said Dawn Barger, manager of the Decemberists. "It's impossible to get rotation."

BitTorrent provided a way for the band to efficiently get the video out without paying a lot of money for bandwidth. The group also hopes to gain exposure from fans passing along the video to others.

"No matter where you stand on issues of copyright, a network like BitTorrent is really for exactly this kind of thing -- when you have content that you want to freely distribute," said Slim Moon, founder of Kill Rock Stars, the Decemberists' record label. "It seems like ... the most logical way to distribute."

Aaron Stewart, the director of the video, said the idea to use BitTorrent came from a friend. He said the fans on the Decemberists' message board helped get the video out by acting as seeders -- people who share their download of the video file with others to speed up download time and share bandwidth. Two fans agreed to host the tracker, which provides the link to the torrent file, on their server.

Listening to: Johnny A.

Stefani Freaks

It seems that Gwen Stefani is pretty pissed at the fact that people don't take her or "her backup band," No Doubt, very seriously, anymore.

"I was in a band since I was 16 years old. I've been in a fucking rock band touring the fucking world for 18 years. So if you're gonna try and erase that, then I'm going to stick my finger right in your face. I know what it's like to be up on stage with anyone from a stupid, fucking wannabe punk rock band to opening for U2 and the Rolling Stones."

Way to embrace your roots, Gwen... Remember when your band was nothing more than a "stupid, fucking wannabe punk rock band?" I sure do. Oh, yeah... it was just last Tuesday.

You want to know why people have quit taking you and No Doubt seriously? Look in the mirror.

Seemingly more proof that Gwen Stefani has bought into her own hype... I can remember watching the video for "Don't Speak" several years ago and I told the people I was with that the things portrayed in the video will come true... Sure enough, you see that "solo" stuff that she's spewing out, nowadays, all dolled-up like some glamour queen... One of my friends pointed out that I predicted it years ago... I'm not right that often, but when I am it's pretty sweet.

On the plus side... she's got some nice legs...

Listening to: Johhny A. "Get Inside"

Another List, Another Pile of Shit...

British Magazine Q has released its list of the "100 Greatest Guitar Tracks Ever."

I haven't seen the article but if this top ten is any indication, I'm not so sure I want to:

1) 'Purple Haze' - JIMI HENDRIX EXPERIENCE (1967)
2) 'Jumpin' Jack Flash' - THE ROLLING STONES (1968)
3) 'Whole Lotta Love' - LED ZEPPELIN (1969)
4) 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' - NIRVANA (1991)
5) 'Helter Skelter' - THE BREATLES (1968)
6) 'Sweet Child O'Mine' - GUNS N' ROSE (1987)
7) 'Won't Get Fooled Again' - THE WHO (1971)
8) 'Seven Army Nation' - THE WHITE STRIPES (2003)
9) 'You Really Got Me' - THE KINKS (1964)
10) 'I Am The Resurrection' - THE STONE ROSES (1989)

Oh, man. Well, okay... I can see how several of these songs are viewed as "guitar tracks." I can see a few of them in the top ten, I guess. You can't knock Hendrix, can ya (even if I might pick a different song)? And Led Zeppelin (again, I would proabably pick four or five other Zep tunes that are more "guitar tracks" to me). But Stone Roses??? And that WHITE STRIPES song??? In the top ten? ummmyeahright. In the top thousand, maybe...

Just more proof that editors of magazines have incredibly poor taste/judgement... or they're as easily influenced as the sheep they tend to in the fields. They are also possibly in a state of confusion regarding what a "guitar song" is, as well.

(you can read what I thought of Rolling Stone's "Top 100 Guitarists Ever" here)


Listening to: Bowie

"Head" Planning Osbourne-like Reality Show

So... Brian "Head" Welch quit Korn because he became a Jesus freak, right? Okay, so dig this little tidbit from an interview on his website (when asked about God's plan for him):

"Mathew 11:28 and to me it's God saying, 'Come tell me and seek me with all your heart and I will take away all of your pain inside and will never judge you because I love you and all I want is for you to come to me with everything in life first'. I'm also getting another tattoo on the other side of my neck called Matthew 6:19 which is also my birthdate. That verse basically says 'Don't store your treasures on earth and don't worship money or fame like it's God.' So with that said, I'm funding my life story to glorify God and I will put it out somewhere in the near future. And again, I will not keep any of the profit. I'm gonna be like the Osbournes but it's focusing on me and God and how much of a sense of humor I have with him but also how much i obey him. For example, the Jesus tatoo on my hand keeps me from masturbating and I haven't been with a woman since my ex-wife left me almost five years ago. I go to those extremes to be like Christ and it works for me. I'm moving my own camera crew in my house on Monday. My goal is to glorify God and show the world how much fun this life is."

Wow, I did NOT need to know the man's sexual habits (or lack thereof, rather) thanks to a "jesus" tattoo... but beyond that, he thinks people are going to tune in and watch a show about him being a heavy metal Jesus freak? What christian station would even show this? Well, okay... I guess I should rethink this... seeing as all the christian stations have taken a fair bit of pleasure in ridiculing bands like Korn over the years, they might jump at the chance of having someone like him enter the fold and talk about the evils of metal and how everyone needs to get Jesus tattoos on their hands so they don't get themselves off and how much of a sense of humor he and God have (that "tsunami" stuff and all that "starvation" stuff - a real hoot, I tell ya)...

You can go over to his website and read the rest of the "interview," but I'm not gonna be able to deal with much more of it, here.

Listening to: David Bowie - "Reality"

Attention anonymous Internet secret admirer (that, apparently, I should know)... This is not a sexy man...

Oliveri back to QotSA???

After openly trashing them in a song he helped write for the Dwarves (in which the singer states "This one goes out to Queens of the trustfund...You slept on my floor and now I'm sleeping through your motherfuckin' album...") for being booted from his longtime band, it has been reported that Nick Oliveri has been talking to Josh Homme about rejoining Queens of the Stone Age.

I know that Homme and Oliveri go back a long way and all (they were in Kyuss together, as well)... but I'd have to tell that asshole to pound sand on this one... I mean, any guy that would call himself a friend and then say the things he said and do the things he did is no friend that I would want to have again, really. I know, I know... I'm not Josh Homme... and their friendship runs pretty deep and all... but to talk the shit that Oliveri talked to everyone else... and to write a song like that... and then be like, "If anything ever falls through, I'm your bass player," and shit... I dunno. Forgive him? Sure, no problem... easy to do. Hang out and be all buddy buddy and play music together again? Like I said... pound sand, asshole.

Listening to: ISIS - "Panopticon"

(from the comments)

what if it's another guy?
lol
Anonymous | 03.12.05 - 6:39 am | #

Thanks for ruining the fantasy... dick.
;)

Listening to: The Mars Volta - "Frances the Mute"

(from the comments)

You are definately not "unsexy" the complet opposite infact. And you have a great talent, you can sing and play guitar like the best of them.
Anonymous | 03.09.05 - 3:01 pm | #

Woah!
Anonymous Internet secret admirer stuff...
Suh-weet!

Listening to: Skunk Anansie - Various

(from the comments)

hay you should shut up and leave christina alone because i bet you she's prettyer, more talented and sexyer than you so shut up. her video is called Dirrty not dirty. OKAY?
Anonymous | 02.26.05 - 8:00 pm | #

Damn... they told me, huh?

This was in reference to a really old post where I slammed Christina Aguilera's performance on some Mtv thing where she blew one of those god-forsaken six thousand note vocal runs so bad that she lost her shit and embarassingly laughed at herself, even...
(note: if you go to that post, you'll notice that there's no place to comment... the person that commented found the post via an old, cached version of *Xtatic musiC* 2.0 - which, if you notice, the comment is on the wrong post, lending greater support to their obvious mental power)

But yeah... she's "prettyer" than me... I would hope, anyway (I think she's pretty stank nasty, myself, but I don't see myself as remotely "pretty"). She's most likely "sexyer" than me, as well, considering I'm pretty "unsexy." More talented? I will defer to someone else on that one, I guess, 'cause I'm not gonna sit here and talk about how well I play a guitar, or sing, or otherwise... but I can say that I have had bodily-excretory functions that are more talented than her.

...and thanks for pointing out my spelling "mistake" on that whole "Dirrty" thing... coming from someone that spells as well as you do, I am truly humbled...

Listening to: Alison Krauss MP3 CD

One Band's Loss...

I'm pretty resigned to the fact that Sevendust will pretty much suck without Clint Lowery in the band, anymore... Oh, yeah - you didn't know? He quit the band mid-tour in December. But... his reason for quitting was so that he could devote his full attention to his new band, Dark New Day. This band features some pretty cool cats, actually - Lowery on guitar/backing vox (something he didn't get nearly enough credit for in Sevendust), his brother Corey Lowery (ex Stereomud, ex Stuck Mojo) on bass, Troy McLawhorn (ex DoubleDrive) on guitar, Will Hunt (ex Skrape, ex Tommy Lee) on drums, and Bret Hestla (ex Virgos Merlot/Virgos, ex Creed) on lead vocals/guitar.

I've liked all those bands (with the exception of Creed, which fucking sucked - I was soooooo glad when I heard that Hestla wouldn't be moving on to that Altar Bridge super-suckiness) over the past few years... I really liked Virgos Merlot, a lot... Hestla has a great voice, period...

I've heard a few songs ("Taking Me Alive," "Heal in Time," and "Lean") from their upcoming album, Twelve Year Silence, due out in June, and honestly, it sounds like Sevendust with Hestla singing overtop... which really isn't a bad thing in my book. It just makes me feel kinda bad for Sevendust, though, because they won't be close to what they were without Lowery (who was replaced with ex Snot, ex Amen guitarist Sonny Mayo).

Listening to: David Bowie - "Reality"

"Head" Leaves Korn

Brian "Head" Welch has left Korn and rededicated his life to Chritianity...

Statement from the band:

"Korn has parted ways with guitarist Brian 'Head' Welch, who has chosen Jesus Christ as his savior, and will be dedicating his musical pursuits to that end. Korn respects Brian's wishes, and hopes he finds the happiness he's searching for."

Trippy shit...

Listening to: South Park on da TV

Queens of the Foo

Queens of the Stone Age big man Josh Homme is expected to appear on the new double CD album from Foo Fighters, expected out later this year.

Only fair, right? I mean, Dave Grohl plays on the Queens' album, Homme gets to play on the Foo album... right?

Listening to: The Cult

Tripp Gets the Boot

Static-X has fired guitarist Tripp Eisen after his arrest in New Jersey on charges related to the alleged sexual assault of a fourteen year-old girl he met over the Internet.

From the band's Web site:

"Static-X has parted ways with guitarist Tripp Eisen, effective immediately. Tripp is currently dealing with personal issues that prohibit him from being able to fulfill his commitment to the band. No replacement has yet been chosen..."

Yes... I would tend to call pedophilia a pretty "personal issue..."

Static-X sucks root... straight up. At least the other guys in the band were smart enouigh to see that they needed to separate themselves from this guy's ordeal, though... As stated before, someone needs to knock the snot out of him and then drop him off for some long-term, intensive therapy.

Listening to: The Cult

Anselmo - Yet Another Fucking Band

In an affort to spread himself thinner than Rob Halford's hair, former Pantera frontman Phil Anselmo has announced yet another "project" for him to lend his tired vocal stylings to. Not much is currently known about Body & Blood, except that it will also feature Crowbar (as well as Anselmo's former bandmate in Down) singer/guitarist Kirk Windstein and Valume Nob drummer Sid Montz.

I dig Crowbar, and I always thought Down had moments that surpassed Pantera... so I can only hope this will be better than some of the other utter-piles-of-shit projects that Anselmo has been a part of, recently.

Listening to: The Cult - "Peace"

Too Fast...

I was a Motley Crue fan way back in the day... The first two albums (Too Fast For Love and Shout at the Devil) were really great... I mean, I was twelve when Too Fast... came out, and despite owning albums by Judas Priest, Van Halen, Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, and Iron Maiden, I hadn't really heard anything quite like it. Shout... picked up the intensity a little bit for me... Then, Theatre of Pain came out, and they lost me... like, completely. They went from being kick ass metalheads to pure suck... I didn't have any trouble moving on - by that time, there was all kinds of juicy metal morsels for me to wrap my mits around. Seemed like everyone around me thought Girls, Girls, Girls and Dr, Feelgood were something special, but I thought they had just continued the suckdom strategy...

Fast forward to today... I have to admit - Vince Neil's voice probably sounds better and stronger now than it ever has (some of it could possibly be attributed to good ol' studio trickery, but I choose to think that he has just been taking better care of himself in recent times and it shows)... Yup, he sounds great... too bad that the new Crue music that he has to sing over fucking sucks.

Listening to: Faith No More - "Album of the Year"